I work.
I work constantly. It's something I've always done, whether it be because my parents were pushing me from audition to audition or because I needed something to keep the noise in my head at bay. I don't take holidays very often, I don't relax much. Or at least I didn't. When Zeke and I became, well, Zeke and I, everything changed. I started to live for the moments where we could just sit and do nothing; the moments where we could be together. Maybe we wouldn't even speak to each other, but we were there. Really and truly there with one another. When I'm filming and he's touring, its absolute torture. We talk constantly, we use skype and webcams, we text and Instant Message, but its not the same. We're never on the same schedule and one of us is always tired and needing to get rest for the next days big, grand adventure. We've grown used to having to adapt ourselves to our schedules, but that doesn't mean its any easier to say goodbye or goodnight of I'll talk to you later. In fact each time is harder.
But I'm suddenly faced with an inordinate amount of time off. I'm not filming, he's not touring. Don't get me wrong, its a very good thing. It gave us the time and the ability to go to Japan and spend time with Jason for his birthday. We went a little early and spent a little time there after his birthday because we figured, hey, soon we wont be able to just up and leave anymore. Things will take time and consideration and a lot of planning. We had time to ourselves, but the thing I liked best was getting to spend the day with Jason, Jeff, Evan, Keegan and Annie. We don't always get to spend time with the people that we care about most, so when the opportunity arose, there was no doubt in my mind that we had to go.
Now that we're back I'm faced with something I've never really had before: time. I don't work at all until some time after the baby is born. Which is how I wanted it, which is how I still want it. I don't want to be one of those mothers that is back to work a heartbeat after their child is born. Not after I wasn't even supposed to be able to get pregnant again. But time is never something I've had. Zeke has given me my very own custom guitar, so maybe I'll work on some music. Maybe I'll just play with the dogs.
Speaking of the dogs, Franny and Zooey have been on a photo shoot of sorts...
They've been having a good time, having us home. I think all the animals are starting to realize that something is going to happen, that they won't always have free range of the house or us. Since they tend to like to jump on us, especially Zeke. But with that baby...well...everything will work out just fine.
awake