Forever, I say; Mrs. Ezekial Stevens

UGH

2010-06-01T18:18:38Z

Happy bloody birthday to me.

dylan_rose @ 2010-05-20T08:45:00

2010-05-20T12:58:31Z

Today is the happiest day of my life.

How many times has a person uttered that phrase and meant it flippantly, or said it with sarcasm or just plain overused it? But when I say it today, I mean it with every fiber of my being.

A year ago today I had the honor of becoming forever entagled with my best friend, the love of my life. A year ago today we stood in a castle in Ireland amongst friends and family and pledge our undying, everlasting love to one another. I simply cannot believe that it has been a year. And at the same time it feels like so much longer. But in a good way.

I know many people will say that the happiest day of my life will be when our child is born, which in a way is true, but without THIS day, our baby would only be a far off hope, a dream.

I am happy to be spending the rest of my life as Dylan Rose Stevens, wife of Ezekial Thomas Stevens. I thank him every day for picking me, for being with me. I know I'm not easy to handle, baby...but somehow you put up with me.

I love you.

Forever.

Let my pregnant belly lure you in

2010-04-24T23:07:01Z

Interview for TheBump.com

dylan_rose @ 2010-03-21T12:22:00

2010-03-21T16:23:14Z

ONTD

dylan_rose @ 2010-02-20T14:07:00

2010-02-20T20:08:42Z

I work.

I work constantly. It's something I've always done, whether it be because my parents were pushing me from audition to audition or because I needed something to keep the noise in my head at bay. I don't take holidays very often, I don't relax much. Or at least I didn't. When Zeke and I became, well, Zeke and I, everything changed. I started to live for the moments where we could just sit and do nothing; the moments where we could be together. Maybe we wouldn't even speak to each other, but we were there. Really and truly there with one another. When I'm filming and he's touring, its absolute torture. We talk constantly, we use skype and webcams, we text and Instant Message, but its not the same. We're never on the same schedule and one of us is always tired and needing to get rest for the next days big, grand adventure. We've grown used to having to adapt ourselves to our schedules, but that doesn't mean its any easier to say goodbye or goodnight of I'll talk to you later. In fact each time is harder.

But I'm suddenly faced with an inordinate amount of time off. I'm not filming, he's not touring. Don't get me wrong, its a very good thing. It gave us the time and the ability to go to Japan and spend time with Jason for his birthday. We went a little early and spent a little time there after his birthday because we figured, hey, soon we wont be able to just up and leave anymore. Things will take time and consideration and a lot of planning. We had time to ourselves, but the thing I liked best was getting to spend the day with Jason, Jeff, Evan, Keegan and Annie. We don't always get to spend time with the people that we care about most, so when the opportunity arose, there was no doubt in my mind that we had to go.

Now that we're back I'm faced with something I've never really had before: time. I don't work at all until some time after the baby is born. Which is how I wanted it, which is how I still want it. I don't want to be one of those mothers that is back to work a heartbeat after their child is born. Not after I wasn't even supposed to be able to get pregnant again. But time is never something I've had. Zeke has given me my very own custom guitar, so maybe I'll work on some music. Maybe I'll just play with the dogs.

Speaking of the dogs, Franny and Zooey have been on a photo shoot of sorts...

They've been having a good time, having us home. I think all the animals are starting to realize that something is going to happen, that they won't always have free range of the house or us. Since they tend to like to jump on us, especially Zeke. But with that baby...well...everything will work out just fine.

Cause I don't already feel fat...

2009-12-24T14:40:49Z

ONTD

dylan_rose @ 2009-12-13T10:57:00

2009-12-13T16:18:35Z

I know I have been very quiet lately, very quiet indeed about something that is really incredibly magical. But I was waiting, literally holding my breath. Because this particular miracle is not something that was supposed to come easy, in fact might not have come at all. I have reached my own personal milestone, the milestone I set for myself when I would finally allow myself to be happy, to talk freely about what is happening, to believe that this time would be different.

Of course my body had other plans and with my hospitalization came the necessity to tell the whole world much sooner than I would have liked. It's left me constantly thinking that something else would happen, something else to take this away from me, like before. But I know this is nothing like before, this child is wanted so badly that it stops my breath every time I think that it is happening. I know it makes it seem like what happened three years ago was for the best, that I wouldn't have wanted that child. But thats not true. Granted it happened at an inopportune time. I wasn't ready and he wasn't available. And no, I'm not talking about Zeke. But God or life had another plan. A much more painful plan. And that child was taken from me, very close to the twelve week mark. Which is why I was very adamant about not speaking about it until now. The doctors told me I would never be able to get pregnant again, that there had been too many complications.

They were wrong.

While I am now what they classify as a high risk pregnancy, I ampregnant. Three months. I'm being as careful as I can, which is easy when your husband forces you to change your diet and take yoga and be extra careful and responsible. Which I am incredibly grateful for. I know he wants this as much as I do, even if I worry that it's all too much. I know that it will be alright, that what happened before cannot and will not happen again. There is too much love surrounding this child for anything to go wrong. While I may be moody and have strange cravings and be gaining weight that makes me feel unattractive, I know that the end result is a child. OUR child.

Now that this day has come, this milestone, I'm allowing myself to be happy, allowing myself to talk about it freely. No more guarded conversations. We're going to be parents and we need all the love and support we can get. Which means all of you.

Breaking news

2009-11-23T03:27:53Z

ONTD

{ooc: pretend the youtube is embedded in the ontd, please and thank you! Also, pretend it was posted later than this loser had to post it.}

dylan_rose @ 2009-11-20T22:34:00

2009-11-21T03:35:41Z

Time has completely escaped me. I don't know how that happened. I think because when I'm on tour with Zeke, things just seem to blur together. I don't know how he does it all the time. I don't know how any of you musicians do it ever. I'm glad I only dabble in this thing called music and its not my career because I would fail miserably. There are nights I have to force myself to go out on stage, and afterward I just collapse from the sheer emotion of it all. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy it.

But with all the blur I can sometimes forget the important things. Most recently I forgot my own birthday. I didn't know that May had ended and June had begun, marking me another year older. I was ashamed with myself, and I know Zeke was completely mortified that he too had forgotten my birthday. I didn't mind it though. I'm not a huge birthday celebrator anyway.

But really all this talk of birthdays is besides the point. What I really meant to say is that I looked at the calendar today and saw the date. Today is November 20th.

The 20th of November.

Six months ago today I married my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my rock, my world. All at once I can't believe its been that long and yet at the same time I feel like it was just yesterday that I sat across a weather worn table, drinking hot chocolate across from the annoying boy who wasn't so annoying anymore. It feels like just yesterday that I got up the courage to finally admit that I loved him. It feels like just yesterday that he was asking me to marry him. And I was saying no. It feels like just yesterday that he was recreating our first unofficial date and asking me to marry him. And I was saying yes. It feels like just yesterday that I gave my life to this man.

Happy six months baby, and here's to six badillion more.

New UI

2009-11-06T22:48:25Z

If I ever go on tour again after this current tour with Zeke, I will never again want to sleep in a tiny, uncomfortable bunk. No, that is no longer for me. I slept like a baby last night despite the fact that we were driving from San Diego to Boise. With the success of Zeke's album, and the insistence that we be able to bring our animals, the record label sprung for THE most amazing tour bus EVER. Hands down. We have a bed. An actual bed. And it is comfortable. I would say its almost as comfortable as our bed at home, but thats just not true. Nothing is more comfortable than our bed at home.

In case you couldn't tell, we are on tour. Tonight is the first show. Actually its MY first show on this tour. Zeke and crew have been doing this for a while, I've just joined the fun train. I'm not going to lie I'm nervous about this whole thing. I don't understand how I can become this whole other person on film, smile and look pretty and speak in front of huge audiences (for short periods of time of course) but performing in front of (what will apparently be sold out) audiences makes my stomach queasy and my knees go weak. I find I have a hard time breathing. But there is something about it that makes me keep coming back to it. I don't think I would ever do this on my own, but knowing that Zeke is there gives me a boost of confidence. Knowing he is there allows me to open myself up to complete strangers, especially when I'm singing things off of No Apologies. At some point during my set I find that I lose track of everything and everyone and just feel. After the last tour, at the very end, Zeke found out from one of the crew that after I got off stage I would lock myself in the bathroom and cry. I mean, huge, ugly sobs. I don't know if that will happen this time, but it was such an outlet, something I couldn't control, something my mind and body apparently needed to do.

The tour comes at the end of our honeymoon. I wish we were still on our honeymoon. We have been in Costa Rica since the end of October. I know Zeke has already given a run down of the most amazing place on earth. there was talk of never leaving. There was talk of buying a house there. But honestly, I wouldn't want a house. I would just want a hut. A thatched roof hut with hammocks and a feather mattress. I don't even care if that's not a realistic wish, but it would be perfect. To hide out in a place that is easy to hide in. We spent every moment together. I know, I know. But Dylan you already spend every moment together. But I swear this was different. It was just us and the ocean. No one knew us. No one could find us. I liked it like that. We spend most of our lives in front of people, with people screaming for us, wanting to see us. To just be alone together was refreshing.

Zeke showed you some of the pictures he took. He really has an eye with that camera of his. Of course he tried (and succeeded) to take tons of pictures of me, some of which are SO not appropriate. For anyone. Not even me. Okay maybe THAT'S not entirely true, but they're for no one else to see. I did, however, happen manage to steal his camera and took these:

He wasn't paying any attention to me, just looking at the sunset. The light was perfect.

I don't really know what he was doodling or writing. We were eating and he just pulled out this journal from nowhere and went at it. I found him at the table when I came back from the bar.

If we posted all the pictures we took, you'd all hate us. Come over and take a look at our photo albums! If we're ever home any time soon, that is.

My husband is a rockstar

2009-10-11T04:21:08Z

ONTD

dylan_rose @ 2009-07-25T00:11:00

2009-07-25T04:25:32Z

I feel like the time is flying by. Just the other day I woke up, looked at the calendar and realized I had been married for two months. Two bloody fantastic months. It certainly feels like longer. Which is a good thing.

There have been a lot of changes in my life, the biggest was my decision to leave Sex and the City. I know things have been widely speculated as to why I left. The funniest thing I heard was that I threw a diva fit because I wasn't making enough money. Really? Do I seem that shallow or self centered? Because if I do, then I really do need to make some changes in my life or something. But no. It had nothing to do with money and everything to do with my health and wellbeing and peace of mind. Zeke and I had just been married, had spent time in Donegal on our honeymoon, returned to the states to begin voice work and then...everything happened. We were in hospitals, we were back in Italy. I was flying between New York and LA. And it was killing me. After a trip to the doctor...I knew it was time to let something go. I loved that role and I always will and I miss it even now, but its made my life so much easier. I get to go home to Ireland when Zeke is filming. I get to tour with him. In short I get to follow my husband around. And for that I am grateful.

We're sick. I know we are, how much we need each other like we do. How much we can't stand to be apart. But honestly? I dont care. I hope that never stops. I hope we one day have this huge (or small) family that we can spoil with love forever. Even if that family is just animals and friends like it is now.

dylan_rose @ 2009-06-22T12:47:00

2009-06-22T16:48:51Z

BREAKING E!NEWS

dylan_rose @ 2009-06-09T23:05:00

2009-06-10T04:20:43Z

Twenty days. I've been a married woman for twenty days. After twenty-seven years (yes, twenty-seven, I DID forget my own birthday) I finally got it right. I know its weird to think that all my previous relationships were test runs, but they were. That doesnt mean they were any less meaningful, it just means they weren't the right thing for me at the time. I haven't had the time or presence of mind to actually sit down and process everything that happened on that day, twenty days ago. It was quite literally the best day of my life. The worst part was waking up without Zeke. I'll admit, I freaked out a bit because I couldn't remember what was going on. But then it all hit me.

I was getting married.

Anyway, most of you were THERE for the event, so I don't need to recap it. I just wanted to express how much it meant to me, all of you who were there to share in that moment with us. And an extra special thank you to Daisy, Jordan and Nicole for standing up with me, Daisy and Isaac for such beautiful speeches, Stellan for announcing us and Jason for giving me away. And to everyone who surprised us with songs and such...again, it meant the world. Part of me felt we left you all too early, but it was a very overwhelming day and we needed to be with each other.

And let me just say, staying in a castle is AMAZING. I'll have to take Zeke back to Donegal some day because lets be realistic, we really didn't leave the castle. Yes, yes, let the joking commence. We're in love people, we get it. We're sickening.

dylan_rose @ 2009-05-20T16:06:00

2009-05-20T20:41:32Z

Going to the chapel and I'm....

GONNA GET MARRIED...

You're going to get sick of my sap

2009-05-15T04:19:33Z

Its only been four days since I last wrote something. Four days have passed. From nine, we are down to five. Five days. Five days until the most important day of my life. I've begun to dwell on people who will be there, and those that wont, namely my own mum. I know its my choice, and hers, that she will not be attending my wedding but it still leaves a certain bitter taste in my mouth.

That being said, I've also been dwelling on my future husband. We've been doing a lot of talking lately. A lot of soul searching. Its like we're new people, in these days leading up to our wedding. Its like...a fight we had a few months ago allowed our walls to completely crumble and the honesty, frankness and truth is just there, lying bare for each of us to see.

I know that it wasnt always like this. I remember that we used to see each other at events and premieres but he never spoke to me. The boy who wouldnt shut up, now wouldnt speak to me. I remember thinking that this was a complete 180. But it didn't really phase me. For the most part we were both always in relationships. I knew why mine were failing, but whenever I heard that something had gone wrong with him I always found it curious. I went from Keegan (love you man) to random, insignificant romances and finally to Jared. No, Jared I will not dwell on us, I promise.

I think what sticks out in my memory is the premiere of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I was there with my date. A date that meant nothing to me, I was only keeping up pretenses. Jared and I had probably just had another huge fight, seeing as all we ever did in those days was fight. My personal life was still being heralded in the media and I just felt like nothing would ever be ok again. I remember seeing him with his girlfriend of the time, there to support Colton, my fabulous director. We spoke briefly, I dont recall what about, but I DO remember that he was very short, very to the point and then ran away from me. If I had been really thinking or feeling anything at the time, that would have been one more thing to add to my list of woes. I felt almost uncomfortable to be near him, which would probably be also due to the fact that his date kept giving me these incredibly dirty looks. I know NOW why she probalby did that, but at the time it just really caused panic. Before the start of the film I did what I did/do best: I locked myself in the bathroom. I just couldnt face all those staring eyes and pointing fingers. I knew what they were saying about me. I knew. They tried to be "discreet" but I knew. And it made me sick. I collected myself and left the bathroom and wouldnt you know it? The moment I left I literally ran into him. Literally. In my haste to get back to the showing before anyone would REALLY notice I was missing, I turned a blind corner and there he was. I don't think either one of us realized who was who at first. We laughed and mumbled apologies and then he looked at me. It is so obvious to me now that the calm I felt, looking at him, was because I was looking into the eyes of my other half. But I was a fool and blind. He got all flustered, mumbled sorry again, then went to walk past me. He stopped, lightly touching my arm. "You look beautiful." he said in that bashful, mumbly way of his. And then he turned on his heel and fled. I didnt see him the rest of the night. But somehow that one encounter was enough to allow me to make it through the rest of the evening.

Its silly to me now. I wish we had been together for so much longer. But I also know that I look back on these incidents and realize that we would not be who we are today had the lives hwe had before each other not been allowed to play out. So in some strange way, I'm grateful to fate and the cosmos and karma for not allowing us to get together until we did. I know this is all very sappy and maybe you dont even want to know or care. But I know and I care. And in five days I will be irrevocably his.

Sap factor times a million

2009-05-11T04:00:12Z

I just changed my ever present away message. I changed it because the time changed from 11:59 to 12:00. Which means that the date changed. Which means that it is now May 11th. Which means that in NINE days from today, I'll be getting married.

Now that we've hit the home stretch and are in single digits, I just can't help but think about how lucky I really am. Zeke and I have been doing a lot of talking lately, even before I joined him on tour. I actually almost backed out, afraid that the moment I saw him I'd drag him to some church and make him marry me right then and there. Luckily, we haven't had that problem. Too many people would murder us.

Anyway, we've been talking about our past a lot lately and I've been trying to figure out why I never noticed this man before. I met him almost two decades ago. I was a little terror, only four years in this country with a VERY heavy accent. I still don't know how I got any work in those early days. At all. So when my agent approached my parents, saying he could get me an audition for a Disney film, I know I scoffed at it. My parents made me go, and somehow I got it. After hours of intense vocal training to clear up my speech I was deemed ready to go into a studio for hours and read from a page into a microphone. Definitely not as glamourous as my time in The Chronicles of Narnia. I got frustrated easy, not because I didnt know the language but because I would want to say it one way, but everyone else had different ideas. They brought my parents in to "control" me. That didn't work. I finally complained that I didn't like having to sit in the studio by myself to do the lines. I wanted to see the other character, even if it was just the voice behind them. So for one of the scenes they decided to have the actress voicing Ursula in the room with me. And so I met Mrs. Stevens. And it worked. I was in awe of the woman and terrifed. They got a great performance.

When it came time for scenes between myself (Ariel) and my character's best friend, Flounder...they again thought that putting two kids in a room would make for perfect sidekick chemistry. And on the one hand they were right. It was easier for me to give them what they wanted when I was reading WITH someone, but...the kid was annoying! He walked in the first morning, his head down, being pushed along by his mother who was none other than Mrs Stevens. I could tell right away this was going to be trouble. For being so young I was incredibly responsible, something I apparently grew out of. But I knew that he had been picked for this role because of her. Or at least that was what I assumed. He walked in, looked at me and ducked his head again. We got to work. He seemed nervous at first but I think once we got into it, it was more fun for him than it was for me! We obviously made a decent team because people love that movie.

Everyday was the same routine. I'd get to the studio before him, wait around and then he'd come in with some story to tell me. And they were always very involved. I started getting to the studio after him so we could just start right away. I was this stubborn fourteen year old who had already been in two movies and he was this annoying twelve year old who wanted to talk to me constantly. I was in a non talking phase because whenever I talked too much, my accent came back, and I would get yelled at, so I ignored him. A lot. When he started following me around the studio I started to turn on the teenagerness and gave him tons of attitude. I was incredibly sweet around his mother, but around him...I just wasn't having it.

Fastforward thirteen years later and I am nine single digits away from marrying that annoying twelve year old. In nine days, I am willingly giving my life to the boy who annoyed the piss out of me for two months straight. I am entrusting my heart, happiness and wellbeing to the boy who followed me around and talked to me nonstop even when I never responded. I am marrying the boy who, according to his twenty four year old self, wanted to be with me the moment he saw me. I still find that incredible and I don't think I will ever wrap my head around it. Ever.

dylan_rose @ 2009-05-05T21:27:00

2009-05-06T01:28:24Z

ONTD

Please. Without his help none of this would have happened. For real.

dylan_rose @ 2009-04-19T00:00:00

2009-04-19T04:09:52Z

Dear Zeke,

I really don't know how to say this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me outside your office and I saw you carve your initials into the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're shamed enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your love letters to me, but I'll keep your photo with the mustache drawn on as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and our friendship is ruined.

Kiss my butt,

Dylan

Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I really don't know how to say this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)

then tag two people: one person that has commented on a recent entry and one person you've talked to recently in im/text.

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the Convent
Black - Our romance is over
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other - I dislike your eyelashes

2) What is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken - In your car
Pasta- Outside your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chretien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under the street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Casterate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadian's goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - Your 'My Little Pony' collection
Other - The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we're related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old Espresso blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter in your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always remember the pep talks
E/F - Never will forget that night
G/H - Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in months
Y/Z - am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine - Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider - I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Snapple/Vitamin Water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - Thanks for the Cocaine
Other - you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand- Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt - Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

tagging: Adra Lane and Nicole Macintire

dylan_rose @ 2009-03-21T12:34:00

2009-03-21T16:59:31Z

I'm on a hiatus from filming right now, even though we're almost done. I get to spend a week in Tuscany with Zeke, doing nothing but relaxing and attending cooking classes that I got him for Valentine's Day. Of course, I started my vacation the Irish way, jetting off to Dublin. I'm sorry but I've got to live it up with my countrymen!

ONTD

dylan_rose @ 2009-02-17T23:24:00

2009-02-18T04:35:49Z

Apparently the universe is pissed that I am no longer in the country.

At least that is Zeke's latest theory.

Shit just seems to happen when Zeke and I are apart for long periods of time, and it kills me because I can't be there with him while he's..struggling. I know we just saw each other for Valentine's Day, but when you're a sickeningly attached to each other as we are, distance tends to physically hurt us. The make up people were THRILLED that Zeke was here because they had less work to do to make me look not so tired, as I sleep so much better when he is with me. For me, the desperate need to be with him passes with time. Thats certainly not to say that my desire to wake up to him becomes less, it just means my body finally begins to understand that if I reach out in the middle of the night, my arms will not find Zeke. And I stop waking up suddenly. Which is good, because with my crazy work schedule I need all the rest I can get. But in reality he has ruined me for life. I am so much more calm, more at ease when we're together.

We talk about how the things around us go to shit when we're apart. Its his theory, as I've said, but I'm starting to believe it. Just one thing after the other happens and we're no where near each other to comfort each other, or to just look the other in the eye and say everything is going to be fine.

Do I sound co-dependant when I say I need him? Do I sound like a drug addict who just needs a fix? If I do, I think I'm past the point where rehab would help me, where you could talk me down from that ledge because I need him. I need to feel him. To breathe him. To be with him. Forever.

To marry him. ♥ But that is a story for a different day.

People obsess over the strangest things!

2009-01-30T14:38:33Z

ONTD!

dylan_rose @ 2009-01-27T16:26:00

2009-01-27T21:26:37Z

Allie baby...please call me if you need me...

I forgot to finish this question!

2009-01-19T03:31:22Z

Why are you friends with Jared after what how things ended? Do you ever wonder if things had ended differently if you would still be together?

I’ll be honest. I’ve stared at this question for a good long time, trying to figure out exactly what I would say. Jared and I were not friends for a very long time. A VERY long time. When we would see each other it was almost certainly time for a huge blow out. Everything was so fresh in my mind, how he hurt me, humiliated me. As time went by I just hurt more. I did go...oh I dont know, a bit mad, trying to get him back. I'm not proud of some of the things I said and did...but I did them and can't take them back. We're moving past all the hurt and anger now, and can talk to each other as peers and thats amazing.

If things had ended differently...yes I think we would have stayed together for a good long time. I don't know if we would have ended up getting married or if our relationship would have just run its course and fizzled out, but I do know that had he not...done what he did...we would not have hated each other. Or rather I would not have hated him.

Get to know me Part Two

2009-01-19T00:35:49Z

Do you think you are emotionally strong?
I never used to be. I used to be very weak, but I’ve definitely improved

What do you like the most about your body?
My eyes
And least?
My chin

Do you think you are good looking?
After a long day in hair in makeup

Are you confident?
Not as confident as I might appear to be

What is the fictional character you are most like?
The Little Princess

Are you perceived wrongly?

I think sometimes people find me to be a bit standoffish…but I’m really very approachable!

When did you know you were in love with Zeke?

I think I knew I was falling in love with him when he flew across the country to see me for one night. The exact moment I knew I was IN love with him? Hawaii.

If you could paint love a color other than red, what would it be?

The exact shade of the ocean in Hawaii

Do you get stagefright?

I don’t!

When was the last time you were genuinely afraid?

Italy.

If you could give a piece of advice to someone aspiring to be like you, what would you say to them?

Do what you like and love what you do. Stay true to yourself and don't let others dictate your career

Silk or cotton? (sheets and/or undies for those who'll care lol)

Silk (both sheets and undies!)

If you could work with any one person in the entertainment business that you haven't already, who would it be and why?

I’ve worked with so many amazing people that its really hard to say who I still want to work with!

Do you procrastinate a lot?

All the time.

If you had to start a new career tomorrow outside of acting or singing, what would you be most interested in?

Hmmm… a teacher

Do you ever feel like you belong in a different era, and if so, when/which one?

I don’t necessarily feel like I belong in a different era, but if I could go back…I’d like to relive the 20s!

What was your favorite film to work on?

Oh god. All of them? One of my favorites is Walk the Line though…

What do you prefer: making movies or making music?

Making movies

What do you wish you could be doing RIGHT NOW?

Sleeping!

What exactly happened between Gwyn DiLuca and you? Do you think you will ever be able to get along?

What an interesting question. I’ll be completely honest. I can pretty much pinpoint it to the beginning of my relationship with Zeke. She didn’t like me from the start. We ran into each other on the street and she started putting doubts in my head, saying that Zeke didn’t really care about me, would never love me. And it was a pretty big strain, feeling like I was standing between Zeke and his friends. When we would fight, Gwyn would always know and she would always know what to say to make me doubt our relationship. I have always told Zeke that if he wants to be friends with her, he can. So when she goes on about losing her friend, its her fault. Not mine. Will we ever be able to get along? No. I don’t really hold out hope on that one.

How scary is the idea of having kids?

The idea used to be really scary. I mean the ultimate scare. There was a time when I thought I was ready…when it was almost…time…I guess. But it wasn’t meant to be. And after that, I thought I would never, ever have the chance to be a mother. There wasn’t anyone that I could possibly see that happening with. But now? Now everything has changed. Now I have Zeke. And because of Zeke everything as changed. And I know that when we’re ready…we’ll start our family. And it’s not so scary anymore.

What is your best childhood memory?

Christmas morning when I was five. There was a huge snow storm and we woke up and everything was absolutely covered. My parents went out to shovel some snow so the animals would have places to walk around, and it started snowing again. I caught them kissing in the snowfall, that absolute quiet snowfall. It was magical.

What is your favortie Buddy Holly song?

I have to admit that I really don’t know many Buddy Holly songs, and can’t think of one that I would like. I’m very sorry.

When did you know you wanted to marry Zeke?

It really didn’t take me long to realize that, once I was with him, he was the one. Sure, we definitely fought a lot but he never let me completely shut him out. And when I realized that and when I realized how much he challenged me, he went from being this annoying little boy who followed me around when we were younger, to this man who I could see myself building a life with, a secure and happy life. Which was something I didn’t think I’d ever have again.

NCIS, CSI or Law & Order?

CSI all the way

Are you scared thinking about your wedding?

At the moment the only thing I’m scared of is not getting it planned in time.

What about married life?

It’s going to be amazing

and how about spending the rest of your life with Zeke? FOREVER.

It sounds like you’re trying to MAKE me scared, sir. I’m positively ecstatic about spending the rest of my life with Zeke. FOREVER. It doesn’t scare me anymore!

Will you name your first son Jared?

Ummm we’ll have to think about that?

Are you even having kids?

Not at the moment, no, but eventually. Yes. I want nothing more than a family with that man.

If Zeke woke up one day and truly thought he was a penguin would you love him anyway?

I love him through is craziness already, I would love him even if he waddled everywhere

Do you ever worry that Zeke is truly in love with Isaac?

Hmmm…sometimes yes. When they have their “dates”

When you eat fast food, what place do you find yourself gunning for?

I’m a sucker for McDonald’s not gonna lie.

You're going to make me an aunt one day right?

I would LOVE to make you an aunt one day. I wonder what all these questions about kids are doing to poor Zeke…

Have you ever gone a day without food?

I have, but not by choice…just too much to do

Do you like to drive fast?

I’m a law abiding citizen when it comes to driving

What's your favorite type of cake?

Chocolate!

Do you feel you've ever been betrayed?

I have been. But we’re finally getting over it, which is nice

Have you ever killed an animal by accident?

I may have hit something once…but I’m not really sure

Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell anyone?

No. At least not to my knowledge have I ever done so on purpose

Do you have any reoccurring dreams?

I used to have one about doors opening onto other doors and never finding out where they led to. I haven’t had it in a long time though

Do you believe in life on other planets?

I think it would be cool

Who do you trust most?

Zeke

Who do you fight most with?

Probably my mother

Do you always feel understood?

Not at all. But who does?

Who was the last person you went shopping with?

Zeke

What was the last movie you saw?

Sadly one of my own premieres

What is the last television show you watched?

Gossip Girl

How many times a day do you brush your teeth?

Normally three. More if I’ve eaten something with garlic or fish

Who is one person you cannot stand?

Since I’m being honest, Gwyn DiLuca

Who is one person (besides Zeke) you cannot live without?

Nicole

How many fingers am I holding up NOW?

Hopefully five. As in a high five!